Prologue: Letter of Farewell
2nd day of Helix 1000
I never thought suicide was something I’d ever consider. You probably won’t even believe this letter. You’ll go look for me. I know you will. After all, you really taught me everything I know about life and religion and so you know me better than most. But you won’t find me. I won’t be at home. I won’t be in the forest…and I won’t be in the secret place you gave me to meditate in. I don’t know where I’ll be, but it won’t be here.
I know taking my own life isn’t supposed to solve any problems, spiritual or psychological. After all our discussions, I understand that truth. But, I’ve realized that though I do have those problems—doesn’t everyone—that they are not the reason I’m doing this. And I’m not justifying or submerging my emotions. Trust me. I do know that what I’m doing—what I’ve done by the time you read this letter—is suicide. Although, maybe it isn’t since Manny and Zoe agreed to do it with me. Not that a joint effort changes the nature of running eyes-open into a death ray.
Well, they’ve already pursued their rays—gold and silver. We’d been hunting them. But you already knew that. Oh, by the way, we figured out how to bypass the freeze-ray movement problem. I wish I could have told you about that but I knew you would disapprove. I simply could not have endured the disappointment on your face.
Jack, I saw them taken! I saw them die. The rays didn’t spit them back out or send them back because they weren’t chosen. They were simply taken, gone. And I should have been sad, you know, like I was with Joy and Mom, but I wasn’t. Because Manny and Zoe chose to go. What I felt, after watching them disappear, was courage and hope—the first sense of hope I’ve felt in years. They had taken control and I knew I could too.
I was going to tell you in person. I thought I owed you that after all you’ve done for me—all of us really. Yet, you and I both know you would have succeeded in talking me out of it, and I couldn’t have that. Not this time. I’ve got to do this. How else can anyone learn the truth about the death rays: where they come from, who’s behind them, and most importantly, the logic behind who gets taken when and where? Beliefs and faith aside, you have to understand! Well, maybe you don’t have to, but I hope you will.
Please don’t hate me, Jack. And, if I really do have an eternal soul, like you’ve taught me, then I hope your prayers for me—for us—will make a difference in whatever nether-realm we end up in. Utopia, here we come!
If you’re reading this, I’m already gone. Gone… Wow, it’s weird to write about that.
If, by some miracle—since you say miracles exist—you see me again, Jack—then I’ll have the answers I’ve always craved since that horrible, horrible day. And you’ll be the first to know what I’ve learned.
If you don’t see me again, I’ll miss you Jack. You were the father I never had. You were the best friend I never expected to find. Thank you for not being a Peach.
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Hi! My name is Angela Tempest. I write fiction that entertains, takes you to another world, and fills your life with truth. I hope you’re enjoying A Search for Utopia. If you love it, there’s more. Check out my author page to read my other stories!