5 Ways to Help You Embrace the Idea That “It’s Okay to Not Do It All”

Affirmation: It’s Okay to Not Do It All

It’s okay to not do it all. It’s okay to not attend every activity you are invited to. It’s okay to not do everything asked of you. It’s okay to focus on the people that matter most to you. It’s okay to do what is best for your family and for yourself by prioritizing what is really important and not doing everything else. It’s okay to let the house go for a bit so that you can connect with those you love. It’s okay to not do it all.


While these are some examples of ways you can let go and not do it all, take a moment right now to think about what this thought means to you. If you fully embraced this thought into your life, what would change? Visualize what your life would look like. Step into that visualization and think about what you would hear, how would you think differently and what would you feel? If you gave yourself permission to not do it all would it give you a sense of freedom? Would that change your priorities in life? Would you start focusing on you what matters list vs your to-do list?

Taking the time to visualize helps you to see why embracing this thought is important. The more you believe in the importance of it, the more you are likely to embrace it. This visualization is a good starting point for defining what your goal will look and feel like.

Define What Matters Most

The next step is to define what matters most to you. The visualization might have brought up some of those things already, but now it’s time to write down whom and what is truly important to you.

Who are the people who are most important in your life? What are the things that you are passionate about? What can you do to find a greater sense of purpose in your life? Who do you want to spend your time with, to connect on a deeper level? In what ways do you need to take care of and connect with yourself to have better mental and physical health?

Defining what matters to you will help you to clearly see where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to be, then it will be difficult to get there and you will continue to feel lost. Having that direction will help you have a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in your life. So, this step is crucial in the process of embracing this thought.

What Holds You Back?

After clearly defining what matters to you and what will help you to feel more fulfilled in your life, the next step is to answer the question, “what holds you back from focusing on what’s most important?”

Are there limiting beliefs that come up? Here’s one way to recognize those beliefs: Do they start with I can’t or I don’t? There are other limiting beliefs as well but for sure you know you’ve come across one when you are saying such words to yourself and others. Once you’ve identified some of the limiting beliefs that you have challenge them.

Here are 2 ways to do that:

  1. Try to prove that the opposite is true.

Do this by thinking of all the assumptions that you limiting belief is assuming.

Ex: I can’t because I don’t have the time


                              My time is limited

                              The things that I’m already doing are more important

                              I have to do those other things

                              I am not capable of changing how I do things

                              I don’t have control over how I spend my time

Then choose one of those assumptions and reverse it.

“I don’t have control over how I spend my time” changes to “I have control over how I spend my time.”

               Then prove it:

                              I can prioritize my day and put what’s most important first

                              I can reschedule things that aren’t as important

                              I can learn how to do things more efficiently

                              I have agency, at any time I can choose to do something different

  1. The second way is to simply ask yourself, how else can I? If you are telling yourself that you can’t do something then start looking for other ways that you can. Brainstorm by writing everything down that you can think of even if it sounds preposterous or impossible. Ask others if they know of solutions, helping you to see things with a fresh set of eyes. Then look at your list that you’ve created. Doing this exercise will help you to show your brain that there are multiple ways of doing something.

An interesting thing about taking a look at what holds you back is that it can then help you to develop a plan for how to move forward. The obstacles are the only things that are getting in your way from living a full, joyful and connected life. Take these obstacles and view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Once you start tackling the things that are holding you back, then you will start to see how you can put what truly matters to you first in your life.

3 Most Important

Now that you have a clearer idea of where you want to be and of what is holding you back, my next tip for you is ask yourself each day, “What are the 3 most important things I need to do today?”

Sometimes you get so focused on your to-do list that at the end of the day, you feel unaccomplished whether or not you’ve checked off a lot of things or not. This happens because you did not focus on what’s truly important. So, taking this time each day to ask yourself your 3 most important things that day and focusing on those 3 things throughout the day, will help you to feel like you accomplished what you needed to that day.

These important things might change from day to day depending on the different events and situations that will be happening that day. Some days your focus might be to connect one on one with your kids. Other days it will be to get an important task done. Another day it could be to have a power hour where you accomplish as many things on your to-do list that you can. Or maybe it will be a combination of each of those.

Christy Wright said, “Life balance is not a 50/50 split, it is about being 100% present where you are.”

This is a beautiful way of looking at life balance. It is not about everything getting an equal amount of time, it’s about focusing on what matters when it matters, and that varies from day to day and sometimes hour to hour. That’s why this question of asking yourself “what are the 3 most important things I need to do today” is so powerful. It puts your focus on where that focus needs to be and does so in a flexible way.


When you start to lose focus or feel unfulfilled, repeat the above steps. Visualize, define, ask yourself what’s holding you back, focus on the 3 most important things. Going through the process again will reenergize you and refocus you.

And in those times where you need help identifying and clarifying what you want and what’s holding you back, work with a life coach. That’s what life coaches are for, we help in that process so that you can live a life that is true to you.

It’s okay to not do it all. You may look at others and think that they are doing it all, but in reality, you don’t have the full picture of their life. Don’t push yourself into burn out, but re-focus yourself on what matters to you. What’s more is that once you start focusing on the things and people that are most important to you, the feeling that you are less will begin to diminish and you’ll more focused on the blessings and beauty that you already have in your life.

I Am Exactly Who My Family Needs

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Raising Super C Kids

Raising Super C Kids teaches you, as a parent, how to instill confidence, courage, compassion, and connection in your children–by first instilling it in yourself!

~Dani Enkey, @a.day.with.dani http://adaywithdani.com