How to See the Beauty in Another Person
(Affirmation: I see beauty in everyone)
Each one of us is a child of God. Each one of us carries within us something divine. As part of my purpose here on earth, I want to help others to see that divinity within them, to see the beauty that is within. There is beauty in each one of us.
Take a moment and consider this, why do you feel it is important to see the beauty in others?
Too often we are at odds with one another. Too often people seek out the flaws of another in order to justify the flaws within ourselves. Too often we compare ourselves to one another. When we all, every single one of us, has the capacity to be brilliant.
What do you think would happen if you sought to see the beauty in every person you met, every one who you read about, every person on this earth? How would that change your perspective of them? How would that change your perspective of yourself?
When we stop comparing ourselves to one another, we begin to see that we are all uniquely beautiful. We begin to see that we can learn from one another. We come to see how much more powerful the things that we plan can be when we work together, creating a complimentary relationship where each person uses their strengths to create something that works for everyone. Our differences are needed. Allow others to be different and embrace your own differences. We are not meant to be at odds with each other.
Yet, I know it’s still hard to not look at others and either look down on them, or down on ourselves. It’s hard to see those succeeding and not see where we lack. It’s also hard to not be envious and seek out flaws, at times unconsciously done. This is why the affirmation of, “I see beauty in everyone,” is so important. With it, we are committing to be intentional about the way we view another person. Through acting on this affirmation, you are seeking to see the good within another.
Here are a few ways that we can act on this affirmation and see the beauty in another person.
Why are you resistant?
If you are really struggling to see the beauty in the other person, one question that really helps is to ask, “Why am I so resistant to seeing it?” Ask yourself that and see what comes up for you. It could be because you disagree with something that they have said or done. Or maybe it is because you are envious of a trait that they have or something about their life that you wish you had in your own life. Perhaps you are resistant because they might be right about what they did, but you don’t want to let go of your own beliefs about it.
Taking that time to ask yourself why you are resistant opens your mind up for breaking through the barriers in order to have a better relationship with them. It helps you to learn more about yourself. And it helps you to have a bigger picture of the world. Determining why you are resistant is important because it is hard to get to where you want to be if you do not first know where you are.
Flip a weakness
This idea comes from Heather Glenn who talked about recognizing your strengths on the podcast Becoming for Teens episode 50. She talked about how a weakness often has a strength associated with it. So, what you’re doing in this exercise is taking something that you view as a weakness and come up with a list of strengths that are associated with that weakness.
Here are a few examples:
Someone who is seen as critical could also be perceptive, careful, and detail-oriented.
Someone who is seen as messy could also be creative, carefree, and flexible.
Another exercise that you can do to see the beauty in another person is to challenge your assumptions. To do this, take a thought that you have about the person you are struggling to see the beauty in, then challenge it. So often we make assumptions about people, often unconsciously, without stopping to think if those assumptions are actually true.
Lately I’ve been reading Brandon Sanderson’s book, “Skyward.” In it the main character, Spensa, makes assumptions about her flight leader. She assumes things about him that then cause her to think that he is a jerk. Over time she starts to realize that he really cares about his team. She eventually ends up with a great respect for him. This happened because she was willing to let go of some of the assumptions that she made about him from the start.
The same is true for us, at times we are quick to assume things about others. This is where prejudice as well as misunderstanding comes in. At these times we don’t stop to review what we assume about others. However, if we intentionally stop and consider what it is we are assuming, then review why we are assuming that, we can then change our thoughts about the assumption thinking more positive things that we can assume about them. In doing this, we’ll start to see the beauty that is within them.
Find the Positive Intention
One thing that can really help us to see the beauty in another person is to find the positive intention behind what that they do and say. The positive intention is the motivation behind what the other person did/said. At times we may incorrectly assign a negative intention to the things that others do. So, in this exercise, let go of those negative intentions that you are assigning to them and strive to find positive reasons as to why a person acted the way that they did. This takes effort but it is so worth it.
Here is an example:
My two-year-old not sharing her toys and acts forcefully when her older sister tries to take the toy from her. My first reaction to this is that she is not being kin. However, the positive intention behind it is that someone is trying to take something away from her and she is defending herself. With that understanding, I can connect to her emotionally, letting her know that I understand and then explaining to her why that behavior is not acceptable. I have found that what happens next is that my child feels heard and is more than willing to play with her siblings, including sharing the toy.
When we seek the positive intention behind what someone else does, we are seeking to understand them on a deeper level. In doing so, we begin to see that while we don’t agree with their actions, their intentions were good. This helps us to then think more positively about them.
The final way to see the beauty in another person is through serving them. When we do something for another person our love for them grows. It is hard to see another person negatively when you constantly seek to do something nice for them. When you do small, consistent acts of service, over time, a change will occur within you and within the person you are serving, as you see the light within.
As we seek to see the beauty in each other, we will come to learn from each other more. Seeing beauty in each other will help us to come together in beautiful ways in order to make the world a better place. When we come together in such a way, we rise.
Affirmation Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTvkFGGJX9sjS0WpdY31CAqc04sJQ7FgY
How to See the Beauty in another Person
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